My First Truth; My Biggest Lie

[You] gotta give me free time even if it hurts.  Jay-Z "Lost One"

       He's a beautiful person. He's not the world's most perfect person, but I was willing to work with that. I was willing to try with him. And it was fabulous, it really was. He gave me so much of himself. So much of his truth. For the first time in my life, I trusted the man I was with. I knew that if I asked him a question, he'd answer me with honesty. I thank him for what he did for me. He's the one who made me believe I'm beautiful. & he might just have ruined it for the rest of you guys. More importantly though, he kept me level headed. Rather, forced to me be. So I'm well aware of my imperfections. I am more than conscious of which parts of myself call for improvement. I'm not perfect. And he's not perfect. And I was okay with that... until I remembered who might be. & he's not perfect either, but I'm a delusional young girl looking for love. You can't really blame me. 

        There is no real reason D & I shouldn't be together. There is the argument we had. And then there is the reason I manufactured. And while both are true, they're not earth-shattering or typically relationship-ending. I still care for him and I know that he cares for me. He didn't hurt me. He didn't betray me. But he did remind me of where I want to be. And that was his greatest mistake. I've been a pain in the ass to him and for the first time, I'm going to admit the real reason: I'm stuck on a boy I should probably forget.

         There's a chance I'm making the biggest mistake in my life. There's a chance that D is my soul mate and we were meant to be, but even if that's true, right now is not the time for it. Just like right now isn't the time for You. I do this thing in my head where I measure the men I date up against a standard. Unconsciously, I rank them on every level: Attractiveness, potential worth, current worth, manners, level of romance, how good the sex is/might be and even down to how he'd look in a tuxedo --more specifically, how he'd look in my wedding pictures. (I'm semi-insane A.K.A, I'm a female.) This is something we do, I think. I don't judge myself for it, I simply accept that this is how my mind functions. This is the pattern of my thoughts. When I date guys, I try my hardest to have them live up to this standard and have decided the the one closest to it is the one I should pursue --the one who is closest to perfect as possible. 

      Some might think me naive because I aim for perfection. Its not that I think everything I do is perfect,  (although most times it is), but because if I fall short, I'll still be pretty fuckin close. Why not aim for perfect? Why not chase the man who most fully satisfies you? Why settle? So that you're not alone? Frankly, that's not fair. Not fair to you and not fair to the person he'd actually be perfect for. I want the man who is perfect for me. The one I need nothing from. The one whose essence I'm in love with --even if I don't really know him. I simply can't allow myself to be with one man when I continue to think of another. 

    I don't want to be unhappy. I want to be excited to go home everyday to that person. That's what I want to feel. A friend of mine told me about her boyfriend once and said, "I'm not in love with him." At that time, I felt like, Well you better learn how, because they have a child together. But now I'm not really sure. I'm not sure I could do it. I can talk that talk, but I've never taken that walk. Still, I have no attachment to anyone, so it's easier (and probably my best option) to let what D and I had die out. I don't think I should play it out any longer. I believe that if we keep on, we might ruin everything and end up hating him. I'll continue to find reasons to be upset with him, when in reality, I'm simply upset because I'd rather be somewhere else --or I'd rather him be someone else.

     This is a huge gamble. I'm giving up the only guy I actually like based on the existence of someone else who is never present. But when I started dating D, I still had You in mind. I wanted attention and I wanted company, but in the back of my mind, I wanted it from You. Still, I kept on with D because he wasn't a bad guy. And he deserved my time. And he treated me the way a lady should be treated --until he pissed in my cups, that is. But, the truth is, when a woman wants to be somewhere else, she will find any reason in the world to leave you. (Or to have you leave her.) You might not know that she's thinking about someone else, but if there's a constant attitude, if you feel like you are annoying her... it's because her heart is somewhere else. When a girl likes a guy, you treat him like a King. You wait on him hand and foot. You'll do anything. But if you don't feel that way, you can't force yourself to. That's when you start having an attitude for no reason. That reason is that you're not happy. That moment is when you should end it. It's not right. It doesn't get any better. You try. But you won't be able to shake it. Not until you find out that where you wanted to be doesn't work out. I won't be able to g aive D (or anyone else) fair run until You is completely out of the picture.

      Maybe one day, when You & I have our chance and I find out all of his real flaws, I'll go running back to D. Hopefully he'll accept me, although probably he won't. And I'll have to start my search for love all over again. Part of me feels like a terrible person. I shouldn't have treated him like that (probably shouldn't have blogged about it at least), but he knew it was coming. And if he's a sensible man, he'll understand I have to find out. I have to know. Or else I'll never be fully his. I found out when You might be in the city again, and I realized I couldn't be honest about it. If D and I were still in a relationship, I'd still go see You. At least lunch. But who knows where that lunch will go. And granted, I'm in full control of my body, but you shouldn't do anything to your partner you couldn't handle yourself. If D had told me he was having lunch with a girl he's secretly in love with, I'm not sure I'd be okay that. And if he lied about it, that'd be even worse. So in hopes to spare us of all that drama, I can't be with him anymore. And I found my excuse to leave.

       I apologize for anything hurtful I may have posted about him previous to this blog, but I had to get the frustration out. I had to blame it on him somehow. I had to make him look like a dog so that could look like a saint. The biggest reason though, is that I had to tell you all what happened so that I can't go back to him. Because I shouldn't go back to him. It's not the right move for him and not the right one for me. I can't be trusted. I'm still not convinced that he's the one. I was still giving out my number. I was still going on dates. And while I never really "cheated," there's a chance that I would. And that's not right. If you know there's a chance you won't be faithful to someone, you should end it before it happens. D's ex had been contacting him for a couple weeks while we were together. Calling him and telling him about all her hoe activities while he had been with her. It was tearing him apart. I could see it. I wouldn't do that to him. He doesn't deserve that. He's a good man who needs a good woman (a stupid hood-rat who'll spend on him and gravel at his feet, I told him). He doesn't need to be ridiculed, embarrassed or purposely put down.  I had to tell you all about his pissing in my cups because of the entertainment value, but she crossed the line on so many levels. There's certain things you just don't say about a man... Mainly, having to do with his manhood. If you still don't understand, here's my Rule #2, A Lady should never talk about a man's penis.


But I'm going to talk about D's this one time. Just cuz she did.

Next Post: Big D. 

        

Me, You & Her: Open Relationships?

     

     Sometimes, I talk to me. & I talk fast. & None of it makes sense but, to me, anything I say all ridiculously important. Sometimes, the people with the most to say offer no information at all. It's always the same story. It's the same shit. & it's not their fault really... because things are always the same. You go through the same things all the time & it's on you to decide whether to blow it out of proportion or not. It's on you to give it importance. The toughest thing not to talk about -for a woman, anyway --is your love life. You want to tell everyone everything. Not because you want people in your business, but because you need to justify everything going on. When we tell our people our troubles, what we really say is, "I thought this was fucked up, you agree right?" Hopefully, we have good enough friends around us to give us solid feedback and input. But no one person is ever enough, right? You got to get multiple perspectives. So you talk and talk and talk until, before you know it, you no longer think what you think. Instead... you think in the way every one around you thinks. You've taken too much advice. You've forgotten the most valuable consultant: Yourself. 

     Sometimes, when I get on the phone with friends, they'll ask me what I've been up to. But If I've been bloging, I really have nothing to say to them. I mean... I said it all. It's all out. "You don't read my blog," is the thought that crosses my mind. But people shouldn't have to read my blog to know what's up with my life... or should they? I mean, I give out the same information. If you're expecting juicy stories from me --deep secrets of sorts-- you've got to be out of your mind. I know you've heard the secret that the only person who can keep a secret is a dead man. I don't trust anyone and no one should trust me, to be honest. I'm a gossip-er. I'm a living page-6. I can't keep secrets. The only secrets I keep are my own. Thing is... if you really don't want something out... you shouldn't tell anyone. Especially when it comes to your relationship choices.


    I'm debating an open relationship. I know it sounds wild... but I think the majority of people are unfaithful, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. Monogamy is obviously of paramount importance to me (particularly regarding the overall health of my vagina lol) but  I'm just not sure how to work this. I'm not sure how to make sure a man doesn't stray... and part of me isn't sure you can prevent it.

     Do I turn a blind eye? Part of me had no issue with this. What I don't know won't hurt me. I know many women out there might hate that but... it's true. You've won't hear the falling tree in the forest if you're too far from it. I want to be very  far from it. I don't even want to know it happened. I don't want to know which tree or which forest. Matter fact... I wish I didn't know forests exist.

    Maybe if we discuss the rules full-out ahead of time, we can bypass all the bullshit and actually make something real happen. Maybe if we're both honest with each other... we can make this happen. Like forreal. And make this work. "I think that if a man can afford to have two women, he should be able to," he said. I gave him the look and he back tracked, stumbled, fumbled and mumbled trying to explain himself. Thing is... we vibe excellently and, I assume, he felt comfortable enough to elaborate. We had just finished watching Goodfellas (one of my fav movies) and I had mentioned how Karen is one of my "wifey type" prototypes especially in the way she handled Henry and his various affairs (Janice Rossi got the short end of the stick, but I explained that all in She Got it Made: The Gangsta's Wife).

     I think I was built for a man --a real man. & by that I mean... a man who you can't say nothing to because he takes care of house & home & you know it... I really do think all men cheat... at least once. I'm not saying they do it maliciously. I'm just saying that it's done. & no, it's not beyond their control... but it is instinctual. The only reason I'm using the word "instinctual" is because that's the way  it was most recently described to me. "It's not natural to be with one woman," he explained as we laid in bed. "The reason we have all this sperm is so that we can spread our species." I wanted to smack him. I wanted to go off in a "don't give me that buuuulllshit" rant... but it's true. Very few species mate for life. & there's very few species I'd like my man to take after. I think pigeons mate for life. But I don't want a man who resembles a pigeon --IDK if that's funny or not, and I really have no reason.. but... nope. No pigeons --I'd rather have a King. & We know that the king is a lion. The Lion is also the singular male in his pack full of lionesses (is that a word?) He mates with each and everyone of them. Needless to say, lions are not endangered.

      The problem with humans is that we have emotions. We have feelings. We think and use reason. Reason should guide a man in his decisions and, hopefully, deter him from the worst of this intended actions. On the flip side, women should use reason to understand that a man is.... likely to cheat. My only explanation for this has been the following: When a woman is aroused... she can ignore it. There is a physical reaction to it all, but only we know it's happening. When a man is aroused... something lifts his pants up #JusSayin it's too noticeable. Sometimes too noticeable for him to ignore.

      So do we allow it? I'm not sure I could fully accept it. & to say that I could, even after all my own reasoning, would be to lie to myself. When you lie to yourself is when things go bad the fastest. I told you all Rule #1, Never be #2. So what if you're number one? I like to be number one. & kept there, actually. I wouldn't want to be the mistress. Or the shorty. Or the girlfriend. Or the wifey. I'd be the wife.  Karen was Henry's wife. There was never any doubt about that.

     So there's the question: If a man can do everything you need him to do, and perfectly... but every once in a while he needs to find a whore to do the things you won't do, because, let's face it... there's certain things I just won't do... is that wrong?  I mean... the day he says "No," to me, gives me license as well, does it not? If you don't lace me, someone else will.

     But aside from that, I guess the question would be this: How do you do it? I suppose that's the key with any decision you make. If you make a decision, it's yours. It's your  business. & if you make that decision, you have to deal with it. It's the same logic that follows the girl who gets cheated on & goes back with her guy... you shouldn't have told anyone. It makes the situation easier to deal with and forget. No one around me needs to know that my man & I have an agreement. There is an understanding between him and myself that needs no justification from the outside world. I certainly wouldn't want to know of anything going on outside my relationship... therefore, I suppose I wouldn't pry. I wouldn't ask where he was. Who that was who called. Where he's been. That'd the the way to do it. Question is, can I handle it?

      This is me bullshittin, though. I might not be fully for it. I still haven't worked out the kinks.. & he hasn't put any red on the bottom of my shoes... so there is no deal made yet... I'm just considering the options.

Rule #1: Never be #2.

If your girl only knew how you be dissin her to talk to me. - Aaliyah, "If Your Girl Only Knew"

"So why is it you smell so good and look like that and you single?"

"Because men cheat," I text back.

      When I saw his name come up on my screen, I didn't know if I should pick up. You see, this wasn't the phone call I was waiting on. Mr. Derrick Marshall (real name used because I really don't give a fuck, and this is only considered libelous if (A) I'm lying or (B) I have malicious intent. Neither of which are the case here.) I met Mr. Marshall at a night club this passed weekend. It wasn't the most upscale event, nor was he the most attractive man in there. But I'm single, so I play the singles' game. But only to an extent. 

       I wear studded bands on my left ring finger when I go out. On purpose. Since I'm the girl who won't dance, I like to give myself a reason. I pretend to be married. All I do is wave the ring from afar and men get the point. If I am interested in them when they ask about the ring, I tell them "I'm practicing". When they ask if I'm married, I say, "Not yet, but I will be one day." I know it sound psychotic, but I've told you all time & time again, I refuse to waste my time. I want it all or nothing at all. I don't want men to be confused as to what I am looking for and what my expectations are. The key is to remember that "All Men are Created Equal." 

      He shouldn't have called. "Sorry it took me so long to call you... It's just that I was talking to someone and I was really feeling her..." --> at this point, I thought he was joking. I thought he was gonna come through with the "& that person is you" ending... but no.... "But I was really feeling you that night and you was lookin so good. Maybe we could be friends."

If I could, I'd have forwarded him the link to "He's Just a Friend" to give him a real understanding of my POV on the subject. 

"No, Thank you."

"No, thank you? We can't be friends?"

"No, Thank you."

I forget what he said next... didn't matter much. I was trying to figure out how to phrase the next question. 

"Do I look like I like to be number two?" I asked.

"Nah... you can be number 1."

"No, Thank you. But thank you for calling, hun."

"I mean... Alright. Keep in touch."

"No, Thank you. Goodnight, Derrick."

"Goodnight."

    I'm just not okay with it. It's not that I need a man's full out attention. That I'm starving for company. But I think that a woman has to depreciate herself in value when she willingly --with full knowledge --takes on the "runner-up" position. Unless she makes it worth it.  Here's the truth: I considered it. If he wants to be my friend, I considered letting him. I just don't know if I'm up to it. Unfortunately for him, he'd have to spend, spend, spend for my company.  & Truthfully, I don't think there's anything wrong in it. I mean, he can't sleep with me. He wants to disrespect me, so I'll disrespect him. He thinks I'm some dumb broad, so the only available option is to show him who the real sucker is. 

But do I want to? 

Come to think of it... Momma needs a new pair of shoes. 

         & That's the fucked up thing about relationships. You never know what the other person is doing. It's a scary thought. This man thinks that because he told me the truth, I'll be okay with the situation. "At least you know I won't lie to you," he text me later. I still haven't responded to that message because I'm not sure who is being disrespected more: Me or the other chick? I don't want this guy, but I know that if I wanted to I could have him. I know that because my last response to him at was 8:53 last night and he keeps texting me. Asking me questions and moving on as if I had answered them. I got a "Good morning" text today that I'd have loved had it come from someone else. & This shit happens all too often, sometimes men tell you, sometimes they don't. Rarely is anyone truly single when you meet them, but to let me know and expect me to be okay with it is a complete different situation. I wrote about it before in "If Your Girl Only Knew How You be Facebookin Me" and my sentiments haven't changed. 

        This is the disaster of the world. Rather, of relationships. We pay more attention and give more to the people who don't even want us. Meanwhile, homegirl is probably sitting around waiting for him to text her. I wonder if he said "Good Morning" to her. I don't know what to do yet. Obviously I don't want anything with him, but I think that dinner & shopping might show him a lesson he has yet to learn. Besides, he didn't buy me a drink that night. He owes me. 

     Still, the only way he'll have a chance at being my sucker is if all else fails. Read "All Men Are Created Equal" to see what I mean. 

This picture took A LOT of work. God, Bless Mac computers. 

9 Responses to a Man's BS. (For the Ladies)

Cuz a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her. And a real woman knows a real man always comes first.- Alica Keys "A Woman's Worth"

           

              A reader passed along the link to an article, Real Talk: 9 Things You Should Know About Men and Marriage. I didn't know how to respond to the article. More so, I didn't know who  to respond to, so I decided to take a 2-sided approach. This is the version for the Ladies. In bold are the statements from the article.  These are the 9 things this Man has decided to tell us. As if some big secret. And so I'll take it as truth, and tell you how to deal with these 9 supposed "truths", woman-to-woman. 

For my Woman-to-Man version, read, "9 Responses to a Man's BS. (For the Fellas)"

1) WE CAN CHEAT ON YOU, EVEN IF WE LOVE YOU

Men cheat. Here you have a man admitting it himself. They'll come up with whatever excuse they can to justify their actions, but really its because society, and we [women] have allowed them to do so. Here are your options: 

A) Deal with it. I'm not saying accept, I'm just saying don't dwell. Over the past centuries the sanctity of marriage has been destroyed by adultery, but those people celebrating 40 and 50 year anniversaries haven't done so easily. If you don't want to know... don't look for it. A bible verse for you,  Matthew 7:7 --"Seek and ye shall find." If you keep hounding your man with the 'where you at's, he's going to act on it, not because you already think he's cheating, but because you're starting to piss him off and he's going to run to someone else who isn't going to stress him out like you do. Most men are incapable of fidelity unless they've consciously decided to. If a man isn't ready to be faithful, he wont be. You can't change a man. If you think you can, you're in for a rude awakening.   

B) Actually be his everything. First and foremost, if there is no ring on your fingers, don't expect a thing from that man. Not saying that marriage changes a man, but men take marriage seriously, and sometimes more seriously than women. That's why their afraid of commitment. When a man falls, he falls hard. So if he's married you, you have more a chance of him being faithful... but men still do cheat. The only way a man is less likely to cheat on you is if he's getting everything he needs from you. This means all types of satisfaction. (You can't seriously expect a man to stay faithful when you're giving him none.) If you are everything he needs and more, he'll be less likely to cross you, because then he'll lose everything. He'll lose the one. Men are afraid of this. So if you want to be everything to you're man, make your man your everything as well. 

2) OUR FEELINGS CAN BE HURT JUST AS EASILY AS YOURS

      He's right. They are human. & We do forget. It's just that they show so little emotion. But for the most part, men aren't taught to show emotion. Even as children. They're taught to hold it all in. They're taught that nothing and no one should be able to hurt them. That "boys don't cry". And while I understand the theory behind it, we harden men up from so young, that when they get older, we cant get them to show emotion. We forget that these grown men were once little boys. And really, they still are little boys. All they want is attention. They want to feel love. They want to feel all that extra emotion they were socially stripped of as little boys. Men need attention. They need nurturing. They pretend to be so big and strong that we don't think anything hurts them. And sometimes, we don't want  anything to hurt them, because we love that big strong man. But he hurts, too. Even if he doesn't show it. So... treat him like a person. Watch what you say. Because sometimes, things hurt men even more  than we could think. Especially words. Respect your man. From your fidelity to how you treat him. As your partner, he deserves for you to be faithful, and as a man, he deserves to be treated like a man... rather like a king --as long as he treats you like his queen. 

3) MOST MEN LIKE PORNOS, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT

      Watch some porn. If you really watch a porno, it turns into a sort of... workout video. Honestly. Those girls are doing things I didn't know could be done. Forreal... if you would just watch the porno, you might be able to take some notes and learn some new tricks. Especially if you don't tell him you're watching them. You can surprise him every once in a while. You know (sexually) things get a bit repetitive after a while. This will help you both out.

      & if he wants to play with himself and watch his little nasty videos, let him do it. At least you don't have to do it for him. He's really not hurting anyone. And those days when you "don't feel like it" do you really expect him to sit there? Hand him the laptop and leave the room. At least he's not leaving the house. 

4) MEN ARE NOT WIRED FOR MARRIAGE

This just means you have to put in more work to get a man to marry you than a man has to put in to get a wife. A man can get a woman easy. But it's hard to get a man to propose --with a good ring and actually go through with it. Once a woman gets a ring, she's pretty much ready to get married next Tuesday. 

Just give him time. If he loves you and you tell him you want marriage, he'll do it. Simply because it's what you want. He might not want to pick out what flowers will be on the table, but he'll wear his tux and show up. If he simply doesn't want to get married or doesn't "believe in" marriage, while you do, this isn't the man for you. You have difference aims. If you try to change his mind, you're in for a log ride... and probably not on the right road.

You also can't change your mind half-way through. If you start out saying marriage doesn't matter... than all of a sudden it does, you're going to have to prove your way into a ring. Make up your mind.  Either it matters or it doesn't. And just because men don't put as much emphasis on marriage as you do, this doesn't mean you have to curb your enthusiasm. It's OK to want to be married. You just have to find a man who feels the same... if not about marriage as a whole, then at least about you. 

5) THE FINANCIAL PRESSURES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOUGH AND SCARY FOR US

    Tell his broke up shut up & get a job. If he can't afford to date you, he shouldn't have pretended to be able to. & if he don't want no kids right now, tell him he can pick up your birth control from CVS. And pay the co-pay while he's there. I mean, either you pay $25 a month now or $100 in diapers & formula every month. Y'all choose. Honestly, it is NOT okay for a man to complain about money (in my opinion). We all have money problems. He wants to take on some of the things that come with being a man (ie can't be faithful) and wants to avoid the others (ie. can you pay my god damned bills?). If he wants to be treated like a man, let him act like one. He should be your man not your son. Tell him pick up the tab. 

6) WOMEN PUT A LOT OF PRESSURE ON MEN TO BE CHASTE

Don't okay him being triflin. Even if you know he is. He should at least have the respect to hide it from you. The day a man tells you about the women he's dating/sleeping with, is the day you should "delete contact". He has no respect for you. You have a right to expect him to be faithful if you guys are in a monogamous relationship. Because if he "can't be faithful" then, shit, neither can you, honey. Don't let him pressure you if you're not allowed to pressure him. But also, don't expect more from him than makes sense. If you're girl #2 and he has a girlfriend, you can't expect a thing. If you're just "friends" you can't expect a thing. If he's agreed to be faithful, yes, you can expect him to be faithful. 

7) OUR GREATEST FEAR IS TO FEEL TRAPPED IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP

No one wants to be in a bad relationship. So if you want to be with a man, I suggest you try to make it as happy as you can. The happier he is, the happier you will be. A man will treat you only a good as you make him treat you. And the less he can complain about, the less he as a right to be an asshole. But he's right, soon as guys feel like there is too much drama, they try to find a way out. If a man is treating us dirty, we stick around. We try to change him. We try to make it work. They'll just find someone else. They leave. 

8) MEN NEVER STOP BEING ATTRACTED TO YOUNGER WOMEN

Because when they get old and wrinkled, no one asks, why is he alone? Or so they think. While men are young, they want to be out there getting all these little girls because of one reason: Men get more attractive as they age --then they go downhill. Women are typically at their most attractive in their 20s.  Men get more attractive the farther they are in  their careers. Don't be offended at this, because they'll get old to a point where them young girls don't even want them. That's when you become a "cougar". An old man is always just an old man. An older woman is something different :) 

9) WE’RE NOT AS ATTACHED TO THE KIDS AS YOU ARE

He didn't mean it like that, but you have to understand that he didn't give birth. It's going to take him time to mentally connect with the child. But you shouldn't stand for this. Personally, I don't believe in the sentiment women have where they don't allow the man to have the baby by himself. This is the exact reason they're less connected. We allow them to be. HE is the father. Allow him to be the father. It took his semen and your egg to make the child 50/50. So everything should be 50/50. Give him responsibility, and trust me, he'll get over this "not attached to the kids" bullshit. 

________________________________________________________________________

My real opinion, though, is that all of those 9 statements are the BS men say to justify their actions.

Read my response to the men here: "9 Responses to a Man's BS. (For the Fellas)"

If Your Girl Only Knew How You Be Facebookin Me...

The situation: 

I guy I used to speak to... 4 years ago, hits me on Facebook.  While looking at his profile, I notice that he's listed as "in a relationship" LINKED to the girl. I view the girl's profile and half her pictures are of of THEM TOGETHER. 

If I were an an immature girl with no concept of self-worth, I'd have continued the conversation in the picture on the left, but I'm a grown woman. I don't want anybody else's man. My homie @DesiBlack_Star once tweeted:
 "shoutout to everybody that think the person they wit, that cheated on someone else wit them, bout to b faithful #youlookprettystupid." 

#RealTalk Des.

The Problem: 

What upset me most is, do I look like the girl that would be okay with that? Now? I'm 22 years old. Not 16. Not 17. There is no "Teen" after my age. This is not the time for me to run around with some man who doesn't want me. Do you think I have that little respect for myself? Not only was this fool disrespecting his lady, Mallorie, but me as well.  Not havin it. 

The Solution:

My response in the photo above (screen shot of my Facebook message from him) is exactly how a Lady stops that conversation and puts another woman's man in his place. I respect this girl even though I don't know her. Honestly, I pity her more than anything else. Here she is, editing pictures in MS Paint with hearts and his name all over it and he's hitting me up at 2:30am. It hurts to think of how I'd feel if that were me. How many men have done that to me? I mean, I didn't send Mallorie a message as I wish other women would do for me. But if I didn't do it, why would anyone else? I just hope you read this, Mallorie, and get RID of him. 

Avoiding men like this is the only option you have. Regardless of what you think, what you've heard or what a man says, men don't change.  The image to the right is a screen shot of the text messages from this SAME fool (Junior isn't his real name, and the rest of the number doesn't show so I figured its safe to post. But this is just a clue to if this is YOUR man). He practically hit me the ENTIRE summer. 

He misses me? He don't miss me, what this fool is missing is respect.