ASK ELLA: Who's a Bad B*tch?

 "Bitch bad. Woman good. Lady better. They misunderstood." - Lupe Fiasco

Hi lady! 

Saw your ad for your event tonight and the title hit me in the face. Brought me back to Lupe's brilliant approach to the term "bad bitch" its connotations and effect on the female & male youngsters. Would love you hear your thoughts. 

-Ms. S. Santos

           To begin: I don't really fuck with Lupe like that. I don't know him personally, but I don't trust what he says... so I can't care for his opinion more than to ignore and respect that he has one. In my opinion (because I'm allowed to have one, too) he's one of the artists people like to call "conscious"as if the rest rhyme in their sleep. From my point of view, he's also one of the artists who seems to have more perspective in his music than he does in his waking life. Some of these artist tend to always have opinions on shit that doesn't concern them, and which they offer no solutions for. Quite frankly, I dislike all "conscious" rappers removed from everyday philanthropy because the masses take their word as gospel, forgetting that you should pay more attention to what people do than what they say --especially if what they say has an effect on record sales.  

          I'm a bad bitch. And Lupe is a regular nigga. *shrugs*  Given all I have, all I've accomplished and all I aim to ... also given the color of Lupe's skin and the career choice he made, I doubt he could argue me down too much. While both the terms might sound derogatory, we are what we are even if we want to change the word. The term "Bad Bitch" has become quite the phenomenon, but it's not new to... anyone who's been bad for more than the past couple of years. Like any other term under public scruple, the word "bitch" can be used to disrespect, or... just used. "Fags," "Niggas," "Spicks," and "Chinks," probably joke with the teerms amongst themselves just like "bitches." 

 

             I don't care about the word "bitch" unless the intent is to offend me. Some people simply don't like the word because they don't curse. Some women don't like the word because of the type of woman they think it describes. I use the word because I understand what it means. You see, I own my very own bitch. The first thing you learn about bitches is that everyone loves them and wants to be involved, but no one wants to be committed to it --I'm talking about my dog. Having Duchess has been the best thing to happen to be because it's helped me become less of a bitch, after dealing with her. Bitches are needy. A bitch will sit home all day, while you're at work and not lift a finger. Bitches don't listen, and mostly you just want them to chill out and sit down. Bitches are annoying -__- Bitches need to be fed, and they'll wait all day for you to do it. Bitches whine when they want to be taken out. Bitches need attention. If you leave a bitch alone with your things... you better pray they survive. Bitches are the best thing in the world... unless she's not really your bitch; then you've got to watch out cuz bitches bite without warning and most won't feel bad afterwards either. The only difference between bitches and dogs is... who has balls. Without delving into the same ol' conversation held over the passed couple of decades, "bitch" and "dog" are simply used interchangeably for "female" and "male", respectively. If you don't like those terms... you don't have to use them -- and it's really as simple as that. You might say that not every woman is a bitch...but I say not every female is a woman. When women argue about not being called a "bitch," I simply think.... "Well.. don't act like one." 

      Again, I'm a bad bitch & my aim is to be the baddest, I'm just very well behaved. "Bitch" is a behavior. To me, I say it identifies characteristics of a person. Men can be (and I know many) bitches. "Bitch" behavior can be necessary or detrimental. "Am I being a bitch?" he asked glancing from the DJ to me, back to the DJ. H and I attend events regularly where we try to get his CD into anyone's hands. "No. But, you probably have to be one," I said, taking the disc from his hand and making my way to the booth. The truth is, women are still regarded as objects, especially upon first sight. But they want to talk to me because they like what I look like. Sometimes, the very thing that "holds you back" is your key to success. Sometimes you have to use what you've been given (while giving yourself limitations). Every time I meet people, it takes a second or third time of being around them for them to actually acknowledge me and admit the respect they have for me. Because when I walk in a room, I'm just another bitch. I'm just another girl who looks good, if I happen to be their taste. But I might be one of those chicks who only cares about what she looks like. Who is only focused on going out and getting men. These are bitches. Women try to fight this by dressing like prudes or being rude... but that really doesn't help the "bitch" situation out. Most times women try to remove themselves from their sexuality it comes off as stuck-up, bitch shit. *shrugs* You're a woman.. and that's okay. I understand that we want to walk into a room and get the same respect that men do and not be seen as objects, but the only way to fight that is to understand how you are being perceived and then present yourself the way you want to be categorized.

        I'm a female. I'm grown into quite the woman. And, when I need to be, I'm the meanest bitch out. Some women don't have it in them to be bitches. I can't be a bitch all the time, but when I do, I do it fabulously. The "uplifting" usages of "bitch" are either "bad bitch" or "down bitch" --which is funny because they're the same terms I use to admonish the bitch I keep on a leash.  Some women are too nice and incapable of being bitches. Other women confuse the term, rioting about not being called a bitch while acting like one. Some women are just bitches, but they're not down. They're not loyal --and a trifling bitch is the worst bitch of all.  Just like "That's my nigga," "That's my bitch," is not only a term of endearment, but a very serious statement. If I say, "That's my bitch," it means that that female would do anything for me. She'd go out of her way to accomplish whatever we set out to do. She'd never leave my side; Ride or Die.

      We must remember, there was once a time when women belonged to their men the way dogs belong to their owners. Sometimes, people move faster than society does. Women have waged wars against the world fighting for respect and equality and now that they're off the leash... most bitches don't know how to act. I would recommend, before we sign up for any war on behalf of another, you take a close look at what the majority is doing --Twerking for Instagram likes and Re-Vines. Women want to act like bitches don't exist. We also like to pretend like we are so fear removed from society's interpretation of who we are. I'm sorry to say this but... most women are simple. Most women, even when they successful in their own right, do things that are unbecoming of them as women. Most women are bitches...

& don't get me started on hoes. 


& that's how I feel. *shrugs*