It was a tougher Thanksgiving than I thought it was going to be. At the start of it, it seemed like everyone was missing. It was just myself, my mom, Duchess (my pitbull) and Luna (my mom's/sister's Schnauzer). I always want to be alone, but my mom always wants to invite people. It took her a while to grant me my selfish wish but... I'd never really had time with her. What was crazier was people seeming to catch feelings over that. Like I should be with them instead of my mom... or that I should hurry up with her... I don't know who people think they are... Where's the respect?
My mother has always worked two jobs. The image I have of her is only of her coming in from work, getting dressed for work, or making dinner. I still see these same images, but my favorite is when she's simply coolin, being herself. My mother has been my best friend for a year. Last year, I lost two friends and replaced them on the same day. I'm not a kind person, I'm just considerate. I don't worry too much about other people's feelings, especially once I've realized that I can't. No matter what, I simply continue living.
The truth is, I also haven't spoken to my sister in about a year and it's been weighing on my a bit. Call it evil, but I say f*ck it because I haven't spoken to my brother in over 6 years and when you really understands what it means to lose someone, you understand it's a choice to forget them --especially when they're still physically with you. My sister and I haven't spoken over very petty, pretty serious shit --which is how all arguments are, right? But... if someone doesn't want to be in your life, why force them? You can't stop living because they wish you would. I know my sister loves me, but until she understands what love means, I'll have to keep my distance. I only trust love.
So... I said f*ck most people & sat down to a million course meal with the woman who gave her living life for me. I even put a "no incoming calls" sign on my Instragram which some thought they were too good for. We make all of our food from scratch -natural, real the way I like it. Be thankful y'all - to those who really are who they are. And for people who love you for absolutely no reason, who don't hold back negative emotions and pretend. My mother and I go head-to-head all the time, because we call each other out on the attitude and the disrespect -I don't care who she is, she don't disrespect me. Other people will pretend to love you because they have no reason not to --then theyll hate that.
Without knowing who people are forreal, or how they feel, it's like living a protracted movie. I don't have time for the drama nor the fiction and true comedy is tragedy. I love people who are who they are. Good or bad. Thank you.
