There's so much fuss about Santa Claus. But, you see, Cupid will not be defeated.
Not only does misery love company but company loves misery back. It's a happy marriage between the two. Sometimes, people pull us down. Other times, we simply feed the the ammo and allow ourselves to be reeled into the negativity. I've been struggling with the question of how much do I say? How much of my personal business do I put out? What is it okay to tell my friends? Better yet, what is okay for my friends to say to me? Even a better question: Where do I draw the line when I blog?
There are few people who know more about me than I blog about. It's bizarre... because people who read this think that they know me inside and out. But they don't. At the same rate, they know me just as well as anyone else. Initially, I had gotten the idea to come up with rules for myself on this blog. For example, the rule that I thought I could follow was this: I wouldn't talk about any guy while I'm involved with him. & If I did post, I'll post about a guy only after it's over, or one year after the fact. Whichever came first. I just went against that. The problem is, after the moment passes, I no longer feel it. Everything in hindsight is seen differently. I have "Diary" posts hidden on this site that'll post a year from now. So that you can feel me in the moment. Problem with that is that, I rarely finish a blog in one sitting. So most are incomplete. #RuleTrashed.
The issue isn't that I write everything. It's that there's nothing I do that I'm ashamed about. The reason I'm not posting about raunchy one-night-stands is because I'm not having any. [Sucks, huh?] I conduct myself in a manner that I can present on here. Besides, I'd rather post on here than talk to anyone. People talk back & I don't really like that. Most people don't have anything beneficial to say. So I just be..."Talking to myself because I am my own consultant." & While this might be something that can be interpreted as "insane," it helps me maintain my sanity.
Friends rarely have anything good to say. We all know that. Still, we tell all of our friends things we shouldn't. People don't need to know all of your personal problems. They also don't need to know all about your significant other. There's a way to have conversation while watching that line. You don't disrespect the other person. You don't give too much detail. There are things that should be between two people. And as friends, we should expect it from each other. I don't want to comment on guys anymore. I need the women around me to make decisions for themselves. In reality, you shouldn't say anything about your personal life that you couldn't say to a crowd of people. If it's something you'd be embarrassed to shout out loud --to strangers --you should keep that to yourself.
That's how I use this blog. My friends are going to find out more about You on here than they've heard me actually speak about. & When I spoke, I didn't say much. Sometimes, I'm afraid to jinx things, so I don't want to talk about it. I'm afraid that if I put the guy up on a pedestal, I'll have a harder time facing that facts if everyone knows them. If things don't work out, and no one knows it existed, less to deal with, right? Less music to face. That's why when girls complain about their boyfriends cheating and then run back to that guy, they have to hear more about it. If you hadn't said anything in the first place, it'd have been like it never happened. It'd have been a private matter. Granted, that's easier said than done... but if you try, I assume you'll see better results.
I used to be a hater. It bothered me to see happy couples walking down busy streets, hand-in-hand, slowing down my commute. Eventually, you've got to get over it. You've got to learn to be happy for other people. With Valentine's Day around the corner, the depressing Facebook statuses have begun flowing in. There is fear in the air. It's such a defining day. The day when haters come out of their slumber and fucked up couples pretend to be happy. This time last year, I pretended to be happy. I had a date, therefore, I was "happy". When in reality, I should have stayed my ass home. The best V-Days I've spent were the ones when I was with people I wanted to be with. Without obligation. If I could have that for Valentines, a true Valentine, I'd take it. But this year, I'll graciously wish Happy Holidays to all the couples out there.
I think... people think... I'm... lying when I say I'm happy alone. It's like... I've accomplished this impossible thing. To enjoy my own company. I'm not saying I wouldn't like to have someone around on occasion. Preferably, it'd be You. But that's the problem, I have preference. If it's not him, I'll be fine alone. I don't... like anyone enough. Truth is, I think I could swing it. I could get taken out. But I'll be so much happier by myself. This is when people come out the wood works. The time of the year when people realize that they're alone and try to fix the problem. All of a sudden, everyone wants love. Everyone rushes love. My silent phone begins to ring.
Don't get me wrong, on Valentine's Day, I might be bored. But, I'm always pretty bored. What I won't be is sad. If you can let one day get you down like that, you've got a lot of re-evaluating to do. I'm not judging you. I used to put tremendous emphasis on the day... but at this point... you've got accept that sometimes, we're alone in this world. We each live one life. No more. No less. We can't put so much emphasis on how much attention we're getting from somewhere else. Maybe you're not putting enough emphasis on yourself. How about that?
Stop worrying about what somebody else is doing. People are on dates every night. Every night, there's a girl out there getting wined, dined and/or romanced. You don't worry about them the rest of the year, right? Well, I sure don't. I've got better things to do. Like... make money. I suggest you put all that energy and concentration into something lucrative. The people who are angry at Valentine's Day are the absolute worst. Just because you have no lovin' doesn't mean you have to bash the day for everyone else. Let them be happy. Stop trying to get people to be as miserable as you are. For people talking trash about Valentine's Day and how love doesn't exist... Do you really wonder why you're alone... Fix your attitude & maybe somebody will fix you some dinner next year. #JustSayin
So if you're alone on Valentine's Day --by choice or by circumstance-- just remember so am I. I'll probably be right here in my room --Chinese food, Barefoot Bubbly Moscato, Pretty Woman & Breakfast at Tiffany's.... wait... on a Monday? Nope. I'll be sleep. Point is.... I consider myself a pretty top-notch bitch. It doesn't mean anything to be alone. & If I does, this was a pretty good pep talk right?
Stop hatin & Happy Holidays.
Happy Valentine's Day....
EVERY DAY THE 14TH!!!!
When arrows don't penetrate
Cupid grabs the pistol!
He shoots straight to your heart
& He won't miss you!
