I'm a Bad Bitch, I ain't never been a mixed breed.
WTF is it with everyone?
First, these two guys tell my friends that Black girl could never get with them. Both of these guys are light-skinned. Both, technically Black (according to the US Census Bureau and if they think they are not, they are indeed mistaken). Now, I could publicly bash the guys here, but I'm going to restrain myself. One is my godson's father. The other an ex-convict. I don't date dads or men who have done legit jail-time. I also don't date men under 6'2. & now, I don't date men who don't get salaries. Mostly though, I don't date men who don't date Black women. Don't you worry you're little heads off.
They would never have a chance with this Black girl.
Then, I'm talking to my cousin about her baby son & she jokingly talks about how her son "don't like Black girls. He likes white girls." I responded saying, "He'll learn," but what I should have said is "Poor thing. I'm sorry to hear that he'll be so deprived." Yes, deprived --from good lovin' and good food. BTW, I'm Dominican and so are my cousin and her son. Here's a PSA: If you ain't White or Asian. You Black. Accept it. I promise it doesn't hurt. Trust men, I've been Black for a while.
What might hurt some (and I've seen it hurt my little cousins who are my complexion and/or darker) is when the Black jokes and comments start coming around and they don't know how to defend themselves. I mean, it's only a matter of time until they do and it takes something extra to deal with it. How do I deal? Simple: I know that I'm beautiful. Anyone who's ever commented on my complexion has had far worse things to worry about in their own physical and (even more frequently) personality/intellect areas. I'm not phased. & jokes aren't funny when there's no reaction. That's like the only rule for jokes.
So... I'm a bad bitch and I come in the best flavor.
I have a close guy friend who is Black. (This man is black Black. His family born & raised in the USofA generation after generation. They speak no other language and come from no other country except Africa.) He told me he "doesn't like Black girls." He even tried to convince me that a girl he dated (who is Cape Verdean --a country off the coast of Africa) isn't Black because she's lighter than me. I don't hold it against him, I'm just sorry he hates himself so much.
With all these bright lights on these celebs, we seem to have forgotten what a sista actually looks like. Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Keri Hilson, Zoe Saldana, Halle Berry, Sanai Lathan, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Gabrielle Union--these are sistas. And they are darker than you think they are. Make-up & bright lights do wonders. Trust me.
The only thing that upsets me in this situation is that many dark-skinned men prefer a lighter woman when many light-skinned women have to make excuses before dating a Black man. He's usually "cute to be so dark." She don't really like you. She might like your money or your _ _ _ _ size. With the last guy I was involved with, my friends could only say, "He has a cute smile". (FYI: This guy was beautifully chocolate and absolutely delicious.)
Lil' Wayne has a lyric in "Right Above It" that goes, "How do you say what's never said? Beautiful Black woman. I bet you she look better red." Excuse me Lil' Wayne, but how do I say, "Fuck You"? I don't want to be red. Do you want to be red? Do you want your daughter to be red? For some reason, people think that I too have a problem with my skin color. No, you have more of an issue with my skin color that I do. I love my skin color. I don't hide from the sun. And I moisturize twice daily to maintain its brilliance. Here's a better question: If those pretty light-skinned girls were dark as me, could they be as pretty as me? Here's the answer: Highly, highly, highly doubt it.
FYI: There's nothing in me that wishes my skin were lighter.
What if I was blue? Would I be dateable then? Cuz I still wouldn't date these minimum wage working, no book reading, can't-spell-assed, small _ _ _ _ size, mediocre stroke having, no respect for their mothers, obviously don't know their history and don't-value-women-assed light skinned men.
14 comments:
I appreciate your blogs. It would be nice if you could write a blog on the "nice guys finish last" situation. The situation when a female may overlook a male because of his "soft" personality.
GREAT Suggestion. Luckily I can't sleep! :)
Perfect :)
I would love to see your point-of-view on this because I cause I always find myself stuck in these scenarios
And I'm a dude BTW
For me it's not a matter of light skin or dark skin, I'm not attracted to African American men. It's my preference. Nothing more, nothing less. As an African American female I get a lot of flak for it, but it doesn't bother me because I know what I like and what makes me happy. I relate it to being gay, you can't MAKE someone like someone they don't, doesn't mean they have to push their beliefs on anyone or be nasty about it (because some people do get offended), but it's no one else's place to judge.
Ironically, my bf is half Asian and half Caucasian and will only date African American females.
Always interesting to hear someone else's opinion on issues like this =]
@quietgrl Hello...I am just curious. U r entilted to your preferences and I respect that....Y r u not attracted to African-American men? specifically?
I personally think society is absolutely fix on light -skinned/ mixed race looking people ... And it shows in many different media outlets, subconsciously its fed to us , and we become fixed on looking more universal because it seems more appealing. In mags the lighter tone celebs are darkened via photoshopp or thru actual tans and the darker ones the same jus vice-versa (I hope that wasn't too loaded) ...its easier to say a certain race isn't ur preferences , then saying "I don't like darker tone males" perfect example QUIETGRL said "she doesn't prefer african american men" its seems like self hate cuz if she met a gentlemen that was african american but didn't look it, it would prob be a differently circumstance .... Oh!! And the nice guys finish last thing is ez- ARAV its unfortunate but chivalry is dead :/
@Arav: I just seem to prefer other races, like I love their texture of hair, I love that they don't feel that I'm obligated to give them a chance, I like when I'm holding their hand and I can see the contrast, and the way they look attracts my eye, not every guy of course but particular ones. Also, the way I'm approached by the typical African American male, irritates the hell outta me. I'm not saying all of course but in Baltimore....yeah.
@CF native: It can seem like "self-hate" but I'm quite aware of what I'm attracted to and quite aware of myself being an African American young woman. Also, you can't particularly say if I met an African American male who didn't look it, it'd be a different story because you haven''t been in my shoes, or lived my experience. Honestly, I'm moreso attracted to Asian males than anything, and it's comments such as those about self hate that makes people wary about saying what they think/feel.
Great Convo Guys!
@QuietGirl -- The Self-hate topic is a tricky one. I say my friend hates himself because he dislikes Black Women and typically turns them down because of their skin tone. I feel like if he dislikes Black women, he dislikes his own mother. He doesn't think is own mother is beautiful? The one who birthed him? Then he has to hate himself. Ideally, people should simply love people & give everyone an equal chance, but I'm not so naive to think that's possible. I prefer Black men for the same reason you prefer asain men. I love the texture of his hair and the look of his skin --Even more so because it reminds me of mine. & I love that the Black man is me. & that we are inseparable in our history. There is something about the Black woman having historically stood up for the Black man than makes me want to be there for him now. I can't let my Black man down. Ever.
Where you don't like the obligation to date black men, I yearn for it. And you might not like the way a Black man approaches you, but I don't like how passive men of other cultures (typically & stereotypically) are. I love the strength and aggression of the Black man because it's what helped him survive in a time where everyone wanted him dead. & I feel like they still want him dead. There are countless nameless things that are more difficult for the Black man than other men... but loving me won't be one of them. I feel like I am a Queen of a woman, and a Black man deserves me. & so I will be his eventually.
@CF Native & Arav: The nice guy post is coming. Think you'll be pleased.
Here it is: http://ellathought.blogspot.com/2010/09/nice-guys-are-worst-ones.html
quietgrl: if we all held on to our bad experiences with other races we would all be a little bias toward certain genders/races (which we all actually do, for the most part) my dear it comments like yours basically displaying and supporting racism/sexism that make others rather not say what they feel... AND ITS OK , IT IS FINE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS SMALL WAYS OF ADJUSTING TO DIFFERENT RACES/GENDERS WHEN THEY WALK IN A ROOM OR EVEN WALK BY..... im sorry that u think the typical african american male is disrespectful and rude. Typical is the word you used.... what your really describing is the STEREOTYPICAL AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE .. their is a fine line between the two and i hope one day u will be able to open your eyes and recognize that.
Never let your history cripple your future-
Oh hell YES!!!
This, right here is how I feel about men who don't date Black women period or only light-skinned chicks. Just knowing that this is how they feel is a complete turn-off. Self-hatred indeed it is. I love my skin tone too.I'm not mixed with anything, I don't hair "good hair", yet I value my looks contrary to what rap and the overall white-dominant society says is attractive. But it kills me that this self-hatred among Blacks is spreading like an epidemic. It's distgusting.
I love it!!! i love it when someone can be up front, in your face, honest about things like this. Good thing I don't date african american men. AEvery man I have ever dated in my 10yrs of dating has been foreign. (Bajan, Asian, French, Greek....you name it) lol
Stop over to my side when you get the time!!!
Kisses and Cupcakes
Adrianna
Just because I don't like black girls doesn't mean I hate myself, actually I just don't like AA girls, and it is best that decent BM stay away from most of them. I don't know how BW are in other countries so I won't say I dislike all of them. Also, light skin doesn't matter, you are still black. I try my best not to prejudge you AAW but it can be difficult...
Jstyles1990@gmail.com
Los Angeles CA
Post a Comment