If I Were a Golddigger...

    I ain't saying she a golddigger. But she ain't messing with no broke/broke... 

- Kanye West, "Golddigger"

  Look. Say what you want about me. I've judged myself enough to know the persona I've put forth. For a while now, I've walked the thin line between high-maintance and unaffordable from time to time stumbling into one or another. But I will say it once more incase you don't believe me: I'm not a golddigger. 

     Today is the first day I even believe that. There's this man (I say "man" because dude is... mature) who lives in my sister's building. Now to live in in my sister's building, you must own. There are no renters here. The 1-bedrooms start at a cool $315,000. Then there's maintenance fees. With that said (throwing in the fact that he's single) this could make him a possibly very beneficial asset in my phone.  

     Here's the kicker: He's ugly. Like... not Quasimoto ugly... but he looks his age. He's got to be... late 30s. And he's not fly. So unfly even, that he was walking in front of me (I didn't know it was him)  I had thought to myself, I hate guys who wear long jackets when they're not tall enough. Just so happened it was this man. Today, I happened to get on an earlier shuttle, and his missed his earlier one. Low & behold, I turned around, and there he was. On the PATH. Standing beside me. For the past couple of weeks, I've been dodging all the brothas in my sister's building afraid that it might be him. Today, I let my guard down and he came in for the attack. 

      He had asked my sister about me a while ago. Mentioning that he had met met, he asked if I had mentioned him at all. "Why the fuck would she talk about you?" my sister mocked him, as she told me about their encounter. "He's old," I said --cringing like the little girl I am. "He looks like he has money," my sister told me. Apparently dude works in finance for some company on 50th. Unfortunately only 10 blocks from me leading him to suggest that we get lunch sometime. WTF was I supposed to do? So I abided the tip I gave you all in "The Staring Game": Just give the guy your number. No one said you HAVE to pick up his calls. Ok. So now I have time to think about what I want to do. I usually walk from 34th to 40th, but since I got my Unlimited MTA yesterday (whoop whoopp!) I decided to join him for the N-Q-R commute to 42nd. 

      As I walked beside him, I thought to myself, What the fuck am I doing?  I'm not interested in this guy but with the lack of entertainment I have at the moment, I figured I'd... see? We had okay conversation on the PATH. Talked about... books. So I know that he's an educated man. He slipped in details of his travels (Spain & Mexico) which shows me that he's a man who's lived life (like I said I wanted in "Generation Disney") so why am I so hesitant to pursue something with him. Am I that shallow? Can I not see past his exterior and am I judging him based solely on the outside --something which shouldn't weigh so heavily?

    Thing is, I've made exceptions before and I can't do that again.  No matter how much money this man has... his money isn't going to make me fall in love with him. It's not going to buy my faith, my trust, or my heart. It might though, buy my time. I mean... time = money right? I have plenty time & I'll make a fair exchange. But I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it. Today I tried to look him in the face and continue conversation but 'm really just not attracted to him. My glances away might have come off to him as my being shy but in reality... he doesn't know. He's become quite the joke in my household, and as I talked to my mom about him it came down to this revelation: He doesn't know, Mami, I explained. Que yo lo abuso. I'll abuse him. Thing is... he looks like a jewelry man. I mean he has the money for it. Christmas is coming up. & if he gets me anything, I know that me, my mom & my sister will have the time of our lives laughing it up. 

     I get the vibe from him that, knowing that I'm young, he might think I'm impressed by him. That I might be lured in. That I can be bought. But he's got me confused. & this only makes me want to abuse him. Additionally, allowing him to "court" me would be something different than what I'm used to. Just now I got a Facebook Instant Message that reads "PUNK". I'm so tired of it. Tired of this little boys with disrespectful game that I'm supposed to be attracted to. What woman likes to be called "punk"? 

     I talk a lot about wanting to be treated like a woman, yet I keep falling for these boys. Maybe I should start dating men... but they look soooo oooollldd :(  Maybe this guy is what I need for now. Not for love, but for entertainment. Like... in a Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's,  type of way. You know...  $50 for the powder room? Any real gentleman would ;) I mean, it'd be perfect. He'd take me out. He'd pay. & He wouldn't be able to ask for a thing in return. Whole time, I can play the shy young girl role and just... sit pretty. Sounds like a plan to me. At least until I meet my own Paul Varjak :) Until then... I'll go home to my pretty clothes and my cat (or a dog, more likely), put in my ear plugs and lock my phone in a suitcase so that no one can interrupt the perfection of my world --except for a pretty boy with a kind heart. 

      Come to think of it... maybe I'm like... a freelance Golddigger. I mean, I don't do it full-time or nothin. lol.

A Lesson in Diamonds.

Rumor's you on the verge of a new merge cuz that rock on your finger is like a tumor. You can't fit your hand in your new purse. Beyonce ft. Jay-Z, "Upgrade You"

    How much should a man spend, you ask? As much as he can really. When it comes to diamonds & engagement rings, a man should be spending 15% of what he makes in a year. Where'd I get that figure? I mean...common courtesy. Think of it as a tip. I figure, the better a woman I am, the better a tip I deserve. I'm shooting for 18% because I have excellent customer service skills. That's why I don't want a ring until he's really ready. Emotionally and financially. I already did my math, my man needs to make at $66,666.67 a year (divide how much you want your ring to cost by 0.15). Yup. Because I want my ring be by $10,000 or more. If your mouth dropped, you've obviously never looked at diamonds before. I'll explain the figure soon. As for his salary requirement, In New York, I don't think that's too much to ask. I mean, I don't plan on marrying for a couple years, giving "Him" the time to get his degree, that advance and the dream job he's been talking about. We'll do it, baby. Teamwork! ;)

For this post, I thought I'd share my ideas on my absolute favorite things: Diamonds. 

     A Lesson in Diamonds. 

Courtesy of Ella's Thoughts

     I want 1 WHOLE stone. Well.. I'll take as many WHOLE stones as he wants to give me but I want each one of them whole. Not 5 or 6 little stones glued together in a setting to pretend it's one rock. You know this is the deal when the # of carats is followed by "tw," total weight. Diamonds, pressed stone, have to be naturally made the earth, small stones have been interrupted in their process. Whole stones have been forming for longer, therefore they cost more. So, with that said. I want

       I want a $10,000+ ring. Yes. I do. If you ladies have done your research, you should know that 1carat will run about $9,000... Well, at Tiffany's it does at least. (Wait, Zales' is on the pricey end, too. Kay comes in at about half the price.) But I just like I want a whole stone, can I get a whole carat, too, please? Eff what you've heard. Size matters. Picture this: Me and the bar with my girls. Your cheap ring on my finger. When a man comes up to me, I'm going to ask him, "Can you do better than this?" The more likely he says yes, the more likely that ring sicks. I refuse to be embarrassed. On the same topic, my sister has a preeettttyyy nice ring. I can't go home with this grain of sand and show it to her. Every time we hold up wine glasses for a toast I'll be embarrassed.I would have to tell her not to wear her ring to my wedding. I mean... I'm just sayin. I don't think men understand the residual effects of a stupid ring.

     New York seems to have a saying: Location, Location, Location. And I mean... I'm not saying that where you buy the stone matters to everyone... but it does to me. I want to know where my ring came from so I can brag about it. ("Him" said he would want me to brag. We seem to be on the same page so far.) Keep in mind that I'm only asking for Tiffany's a highly commercialized jeweler. I could direct him to Cartier or Van Cleef & Arpels but I'm only being a mild label whore.

     Clarity Part 1: The stone should be clear. Ever notice that some diamonds are clearer than others? Yea.. that matters. The more flawless (no cracks in the middle of the stone) the more valuable the stone. You can get a big stone and the joint just be fuzzy as hell. Diamonds should be clear... like ice! (I wish I had a picture of my sister's ring.) How perfectly frozen cubes of ice are practically see-through? Rappers know about ice, man.

     Clarity Part 2: Clear in your expectations. I plan on taking "Him" to Tiffany's. Just to browse. I want to see how he reacts at the sight of Diamonds and even more so at their prices. This way, we're both on the same page of what I'd be expecting. I don't want to have to say no. I already told "Him" that I would say "Yes, but not with this ring," if it wasn't what I wanted. To this, "Him" responded, "I'd just get you the biggest one so you won't talk shit."

 My kinda man :) More importantly, my kinda ring!

      Cut: The cut of your stone is really up to you. I like the emerald cut because it makes the stone look the biggest. That's my whole reason.

       Base: DO NOT BE FOOLED. Sometimes, the diamond is put on this makeshift pedestal that raises it off your finger, giving the illusion of size but there's nothing but air between your finger and that stone. I need my stone places directly on that band so I know exactly how big it is. Don't play me. 

      Last but not least: Don't settle for less than you deserve. If you want a certain ring. Get that kind of ring. But don't ask for 10 carats if you're not really worth it. I've looked into 10 carats before and had someone say that the guy I was dating would never get that for me. What we failed to explain further was if I wouldn't be getting that ring from him because I didn't deserve it or because he couldn't afford it. Figures we're not dating anymore and the deep seeded reason is because he was cheap. I know I'm not going to get a 10 carat ring. At $10,000 a carat, that's a $100,000 ring that man would need to make 10x more than my fantasy boo. I don't know men you make $666,666.67 a year (I'm sure lookin for them though! So much so that I have this calculator out on my desk for no reason other than to gauge my future husband's salary).  If you're the type of girl who can settle for a ring she doesn't like, I applaud you. You 1000000000x the woman I am. I'm not a good or humble person and I've come to accept that. I think that's what makes me a great person. I also know that I'll have a great ring.

     But hey! Ella's not engaged! Did that cross your mind? I'm not engaged because for a couple reasons. First and foremost, I have yet to meet a man who can afford me. I was proposed to once. I was 15 and it was the first time a boy bought me diamonds. But the ring was stupid. So I told my mom I found it and traded her for hers (which was bigger). But it was a diamond. And my mom still wears it. So Ella was engaged. Loonngg ago. lol. (My trek with men started off pretty seriously, pretty early. Bad for me, awesome for this blog)  Anywhoo... I'm not looking to get married until I meet a grown man who can have a grown conversation about taking grown folks steps in a grown folks relationship and spend some grown man paper on a grown woman ring. I'll let you all know when I meet 'em.

Besides. I'd rather have no ring than a stupid ring.

FYI: I'm no jeweler... but I LOVE Diamonds. It's my birthstone ya know :) So when I ask for jewelry I say "All I want is my birthstone in it." "What's that?" he'll say? "Diamonds," I respond --always with a smile. Shout Out to the Aries' out there!! 

& That, folks, is my lesson in Diamonds :)

NEW FIND! Cat-Eye Sunglasses

As I emptied my car of my mom's belongings, I found the pair of sunglasses above. I'd been wondering if I should invest in a pair of Cat-Eye glasses, and more importantly if they'd fit my face! Sunglasses are tricky. Not just any shape works well on just any face. (Check out this InStyle article to see which shape glasses should look best on your face.)

To stay on the safe side, most people stick to the familiar: the Aviator, or pilot sunglasses which were initially developed by RayBan in 1936 and sold to the Army but glasses weren't available to the public until 1938. Also created by RayBan, the popular Wayfarer (created in 1952) to rid glasses of their metal frames. 

There's various other shapes, but for me, the aforementioned two along with the Cat-Eye are the most popular shapes, or at least the shapes known by name. Oh, and the Jackie O! The pair I scored (in the trunk of the car of all places) is most similar to Ralph Lauren's "Cat Eye"  which retail at $250. Not saying mine are anything near that valuable, but... you get my drift.  

There's a healthy debate surrounding the origin of the Cat-Eye sunglass shape, but the most popular attribution is to Audrey Hepburn for her's in Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961). (If you "love" fashion haven't watched this movie, you are sadly mistaken about your passion. I started this blog three days ago, and already this movie has been cited twice.) The Cat-Eye is commonly referenced as 1950s - 1960s style. 

The Cat-Eye's return to the catwalk (oh so appropriate) fits well with the structured lines and simple, yet modern cuts most designers featured in their Fall 2010 collections -- seems we are officially in our Mad Men era. Louis Vuitton's Fall 2010 collection (watch the runway show here) was most truly reminiscent of this period (in my humble opinion), featuring long, flowing skirts,  elbow-length gloves and dainty shoes with bows on the tips. Certain looks in the Fendi Fall 2010 ready-to-wear collection also hit the mark.

My recommendation, if they fit your face, get yourself a pair of Cat-Eye sunglasses because Miss Hepburn (rather, Miss Golightly) is never out of style.