5.16.12
Exactly one year ago I thought....
That's not my man... because he's not. So every time I want to do for him, I have to sit back and ask what she's doing for him. F*cks him? Because she's not helping him out in any other area of his life. I sat back and listened to your man complain about the difficulties of following his dream. Have you listened to him? If so, are you planning on doing anything? Because he's still feeling it enough to speak of it.
& If you haven't handled it... now, do I have to? I'm not here to pick up slack. Where you fail, you'll be seen failing. If you want to be number one, you better play your roll, boo. Cuz I'm not playing #2.
Love is love, though. I wish everybody the best.
5.16.13
Today I think....
I suppose it's no woman's job to take care of a man. Have you ever met one of those guys who gets women to buy him things? I always find it impressive. I'm the type of woman who likes to buy, so it's interesting to see the other side. It's heartbreaking that we can no longer give to people without being abused. I'm good to my friends and my friends happen to be males. But... I've entered this point in my life where I don't like to keep anything to myself. I prefer to share. I don't like the spiritual burden that comes with greed.
Where is the line between a brotha who's trying to make it, and one who wants you to make it for him? Is it right to stop dating a man because he's not financially at the same place you are? I think that would be wrong. I think the better move is to never involve yourself in the first place. Sometimes, I think I'll sit waiting for Mr. Perfect forever, but at least I won't end up with Mr. I Guess He'll Do.
I've been wondering a lot lately why I'm single. Lol. It's not that I'm worried, but I want to know what the exact reason is. I wish I could know what other people think the reason is. My reason (right now) is that men become burdensome, they turn into children. If you form a true relationship with a man, you cook, clean and do all that stuff for him. Frankly, I don't have the time to cook and clean after myself sometimes. Sometimes, I go in for a $1 slice or a hotdog because I'm just that tired or my pockets are that tight. Not only do I not have the time for a man, but I can't afford him either --if he's not kicking in.
Men think women are the only ones who need money spent on them. Men like gifts, too. Unfortunately, I'm the type to play wife immediately. I believe that if you are who you are, you need to be who you will be. So if you plan on marrying a man, be his wife, ring or not. Catering to a man will still cost you a dollar, but it'll go to a different place. The other issue with men is that you can never cater to just your man. You have to cater to his entire family and his whole crew. When a man dates a woman, he takes her on a date. When a woman dates a man, she's making dinner for everyone.
I'm actually glad I don't have a man. I haven't been stressed in over a year. I haven't been questioned. I haven't had to do anything. I don't worry about where anyone is or who I'm with and how they'll feel. Of course, I consider my surroundings and the company I keep and how that affects how I'm perceived, but I don't worry about anyone's emotions. I also don't have to worry about anyone's finances. I care for my friends and where they're going in life, but when you're in a relationship, that is one life --at least is should be. That said, that person's problems become your problems. Their concerns become your concerns. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend (as much as I despise those titles) you can't sit back and say, "he/she can deal with that." If you can provide a solution, you provide it. If you can't, you help brainstorm. You do whatever you have to to get the job done and get the issues resolved. I feel you should be 1000% invested in each others' futures, goal, dreams, aspirations, etc. Or maybe I expect too much in relationships. I've been told that before. Maybe that's why I'm single.
lol.
Sincerely,
ELLA.
