Facebook Chat Failures.

Excuse me, Miss. What's your name? Can you come hang with  me? Possibly, can I take you home tonight? - Jay-Z, "Excuse Me Miss"

      What ever happened to "Hi, how are you?" I mean, it's the first phrase you learn in any introductory language class, yet I've rarely heard it said. Well, at least not to me by men. People at work ask me. Family ask me. Friends ask me. But for some reason, men think they don't have to  "Stranger" is not my name. I know what it means. We haven't spoken in a while, correct? Well... there's probably a reason for that. "Shady" is also not my name. 

       I hate those names. I don't understand why men think that's going to illicit a response --wait, I do. Men do things for one reason: It works. If something has ever worked, they will try it again. I can't say I've never responded to "shady" or "stranger" but it irked me every single time. But responding to it is what makes them think that shit works. It's like... you have nothing to say to me. You have no real conversation. I mean, if we have  nothing to talk about, we have nothing to talk about. But you could ask me how I'm doing. Inquire about how my day is going. How things have been. Have I done anything new lately? Maybe I've gone somewhere fun or interesting. IDK. Something. 

     I get particularly bothered when guys hit me up like this when they have a girlfriend. Because, that's really all I can think of when it comes to them. it goes like this: If they say "Hi Stranger," I could say. The next line is something along the lines of "Where have u been?" or "Wat u been up to?" But when you have a conversation with a guy, it's best to be able to ask the questions back. In this circumstance, when I say, I've been hanging out, I already know where you've been -with your girlfriend. Similarly, I can say I haven't been doing much... but you, on the other hand,  have been tending to your girlfriend. So, I'm not interested. You disgust me. Your girlfriend has no idea that you're sitting here sending me messages probably at the same time you're sending them to her.  I've said it before in my post "If You're Girl Only Knew" and I'll say it again: I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I'm not dumb enough to think you wouldn't do that to me.

    And do me a favor, don't hit me up if your profile pic is or was recently of you and homegirl kissing. If I were going to take you seriously, I definitely don't want the guy who posts pictures like that online. Personally, I like my business private. [A private blogger, imagine that!] And I don't want people remembering my man due to his pictures kissing someone else. I mean... Here's the thing. I don't make new guy friends. Hardly ever. The newest guy friends I have I made 4 years ago. I'll be cordial, but in reality, most men who speak to me [and, really, to all of us women] have one thing in mind. (I ain't gotta spell it.) I know that you don't want to be my friend. So, I might entertain a "hey" conversation but if I don't know you in real life and/will never see you in real life, please just don't waste your time. I'm not trying to sound like "big pimpin" out here but... its reeaallyy annoying. There are so many dogs on Facebook: sunglasses on  in the house --at night--, muscles flexed, fist full of $1 bills, posted next to car you DON'T own. It's ridiculous. If I am going to respond to someone, it's not going to be you. Its going to be someone I've met before. Or someone I know somehow. Really though? You think I'm going to let you take me to dinner? I'm the polar opposite of a dumb blonde, honey. If you really want to impress me, send me the confirmation number for my Round Trip ticket to Milan with my seating information for Chloe's Fall 2011 show in February and I'll meet you there. Then we can go to dinner. 

       I love to be "gamed". Some women might think that having a man game you is a bad thing, but hey, I love to be sweet talked. For the rest of you who want to be spoken to like "friends" good luck with that. I like to be addressed like a lady should be. Don't "yo" me. I'm not saying that you have to eliminate the word from your vocabulary, but address me like I deserve to be addressed. And, really, I'm not looking for sweetie, baby or any of that. You can call me by my name... or nothing at all. I prefer a "Hey" or "Hi" to a "Yo" any day. 

       All I'm saying is you get what you got. If a woman is responding to your lame/disrespectful game, that should show you what type of woman she is. Don't expect her to be courteous, polite or respectable if you don't have to treat her that way. A woman who is respectable demands respect. She should have to o much pride to allow you to address her in any other way. And Ladies, if he don't respect you now... do you really think things will change later? Eventually, you'll want him to be sweeter, kinder, more romantic but you didn't ask for that from the jump --so you're not going to get it. And no, he shouldn't change. If you want something, require it from day one. Then, you'll know if he's changed. But you can't expect a man to change after you've accepted him for who he is. That's not fair.

      Literally, as I thought I was coming to a close on this blog, I got the "Watz up boo". Where where you during the first grade? Where you absent everyday? No one taught you how to spell? I hate. I hate it, hate it, hate it haaaaaaaaaaattteee it. So.... I pulled up additional photos of my chats... just to further establish my point. One fool wouldn't stop hitting me on chat, so I responded with a "hi" in hopes it'd satisfy him. (I don't know where I got that brilliant idea.) If you mean "baby" write b-a-b-y. IDK WTF a "bb" is. "BB" to me, means Blackberry. Another guy wanted to start conversation with the good ol' "tell me about yourself" vibe (in response to one of my answers from the numbers game). I hate when guys ask me info that's already on my page. I mean, you can read, right? Cuz not only do I like guys who can spell, but a literate man? Now that turns me on. Turns out,  Crystal & I used to be married on Facebook until she divorced me. So I told her she's dead to me and changed my status to widowed. He ended up seeing that and I guess felt kinda bad. Don't think he'll be hitting me up anytime soon. Not only is this entertaining to me, but it's a deterrent. When I don't want to talk, I just let them believe it. Whatevvv. I need some kind of filter.