OMG. Boobs.

What'd you say? Her titties got big? Bitch, you got your regular titties. Why they ain't work for you?

 Kat Williams in Lil' Km's "Winners and Losers" 

      If I had the money, the time and a distorted perception of myself, I'd get a nose job, an ass job & a boob job.  Nose because I just don't like it, ass because its not... perky enough (lol) and boobs because...well, can a girl at least have a little??? 

      First off, I don't think there's anything wrong with minor plastic surgery to adjust yourself. There are plenty people, myself included, who could use a tweak or two. For example, if I had a good B-cup, I think I'd get a lot more guys. On the dime scale, I'd go up at least a number and a half.  Just sayin'. While I can live without the nose and ass jobs (face surgery scares me & I got a lot from my momma), I've seriously considered getting my breasts done. I would say "Have you seen Kelly Rowland's boobs?" but I know you have because it's the pic for this blog. Their good right? I know! Your Welcome :)  Now that is what a good boob job looks like. She doesn't look grotesque or morphed... she looks... good! If you're going to get something, let it be a career enhancing enhancement like the new Rowland twins. 

        Even Kourtney Kardashian has face breasts (face breasts though? I need an editor ASAP. I'm leaving it cuz i love funny typos & you guys are so accepting of me!) and they look pretty, pretty good. They look natural and also put in in a way where she can still breast feed. OK, maybe TMI but... that matters to me. I want to get boobs but I don't want to ruin my body or the purposes for which it was made. If your going to get surgery, you've got to research it and find out your options and weigh the pros and the cons. 

       Trying to change yourself, on the other hand, is a complete different story. If your outside appearance is all that matters to you, there are some serious internal issues you need to figure out. And if you want to get surgery for things that you can fix yourself, that's also an issue. Most women out there want tummy tucks or liposuction or that tie-up-your-stomach surgery.... all these things dealing with weight. Did you know that you control your weight. If you want to lose weight, there's a cheaper way: Stop eating so much. Not saying you should starve yourself (not an advocate for that at all), but you don't need to eat until your body hurts. Especially if you have no constant exercise routine. 

       Some people think that they don't have to work out now because they didn't "work out" as kids. As kids though, you do a lot more that you notice. Remember walking miles to places you shouldn't have been? Or boys chasing girls in the school yard? Remember you didn't have a car. As adults, we sit on our asses sooooo much more. And the way we keep in touch or catch up with friends is to "do lunch" or "Grab a bite." Fatasses in the making.  My personal opinion: If there is something physical about you that you can change naturally, you have no right to complain about it. If there is a way to do it,  do it. I know most people don't have time to work out... but they do find time to eat HUGE meals. If you cut down on your portions, you don't need to change your schedule at all. 

      People like to pretend that outward appearances mean nothing. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be naive and positive and tell you they don't. How you look affects everything. Your mood, your esteem, your skin, your psychological health, your intelligence, your social activities, your interactions with others, your sex life. (The links are to Elle.com articles on the topics listed. Since the articles are already written, I'm not going to re-write them. Check the tips & advice here for yourself.)  As much as we like to say we don't judge people on their outward appearances we do. This summer, when my friends and I would go out, we'd pick up a new addition to the crew, all the while wondering what she'd be wearing. Is she cute? Is she dressed slutty? Flip flops or heels? Does she match with us? It's as superficial as it gets but it's the truth. 

        Don't you want better sex?!?! My favorite portion of this conversation is how your appearance effects your sex life. Imagine always having to do it with the lights off? I mean, that's cool, but I trust a man will get excited if you don't mind the lights on every once in a while. And I have a uh..... friend of mine.... who didn't like being on top because she wasn't pleased with her stomach or chest. Now that she is please, that position is much more enjoyable. In my very, very limited experience with intercourse (lol), you tend to picture what the other person sees as you do it. Is it a pretty sight? The prettier it all looks, the more your attracted to yourself and the more comfortable you'll be ---> better sex. I even get more pleasure simply being around men, because If I can see me, they can see me. & sometimes, it's enough just to know someone want you.

*NOTE*Just because you look good doesn't mean you have to spread your legs to everything that shows interest. Feel like this is a necessary sidenote before the young readers get carried away and the older readers start to judge me.**

     I also worry about gaining weight having my guy's view of me change over time. I remember my ex would comment on my stomach and say I need to hit the gym. Yea, I took it as a joke and laughed it off, but secretly it hurt. No one wants to hear that. I remember purposely tell him he needed to go for a run because I was in a "you ain't the best nigga out here" mood. I want a guy who is... strong and toned and... muscly (it's a word now) and healthy etc... but I feel like I can't expect from him something I don't even require from myself. I think that the more you like a certain kind of man, you have to consider that he might also like a certain type of girl. 

      People have been commenting a lot lately on how small I've gotten. While I like what I look like, I worry that I've lost too much. I didn't lose the weight in any drastic form. I just ate smaller portions and stopped eating if I was full, I didn't force myself to finish a meal. I also went for a 30 minute run at least three times a week & did stomach stuff for like... 10 minutes. If I couldn't make it so many times, I'd do one day for like an hour. Now, my mom will comment on my figure but she keeps asking me if I feel alright. I try to make sure I eat 3 meals a day so I can guarantee this isn't an eating disorder. But today, while I was at work, I looked in the mirror and thought, If I get fat, would they fire me? My answer was: Maybe. That's some scary shit because it's true... and I wouldn't even be mad at them. Yes, I'd sue... but I might fire me too. 

      I'm not advocating anorexia or anything (and especially not bulemia, that shits groooossss) but I think that we need to take control of our own bodies. And honestly... if you have a problem with it, either work on it, or love yourself. I'd much rather hang with a big girl who is proud of herself than to hear a fat girl complain about her size while eating a burger with a large fry and a Coke. 

     So anyways... I'm considering buying myself some boobies because I can't change that any other way. And I want them to look like Kelly's.  Besides I've always said I wanted twins :)