Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Unbe[WEAVE]able.


     I be puttin some hair in my hair. Just be warned that sometimes I didn't grow it all but I did pay for it. I don't wear weave all the time but... Sometimes I want a ponytail and my hair just isn't as long as I need it to be be, so I put hair in. Just like when a dress isn't as short as you need it to be, you use safety pins. Or when your eyelashes aren't as long as you need them to be, you use mascara (or false ones for a dramatic effect). And when your skin isn't as soft as you need it to be, you use lotion. Or when you don't smell as good as you need to smell,  you used perfume. Like when your breath isn't as fresh as you want it to be, you chew gum.  Similar to how when your nails aren't as long as you want them to be you get acrylics. 

     Hair is a product. It is bought and used and thrown aways just like everything else. 

     Sometimes I have long hair, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have straight hair, sometimes I don't. My hair changes with the outfit, with the times, with the shoes. I'm not that girl with the same hair style everyday for 6 years who needs a nudge to part her hair on the other side for a change. My two best friends (who don't use weave at all & never have) will see me one day normal and the other with Romance Curls flowing. When they say, "That grew fast," I say, "Didn't it?" and KEEP IT MOVIN. 

     If you have something against weave, you probably don't know much about it. Or, you're probably afraid that someone will feel about you, the way you judge people with weave. Women are afraid of being classified as A) Bald and B) unhappy with yourself. We are our own worst enemies. Sometimes, people do look better with weave. We okay plastic surgery, liposuction and makeup to alter appearances, but you're telling me I can't attach a couple strands of hair to my own? We all like to alter our appearance and present ourselves as a particular that we agree with. Even people who hate fashion and want to wear "whatever" purposely pick that "whatever" so that they look like they hate fashion. That is your fashion.

     And hair extensions are a part of fashion. I'm assuming most of you have never been backstage at a fashion show? From Loyola's Fashion show to Baltimore Fashion Week to DC Fashion Week to Calvin Klein.... it's everywhere. Trust me.  ITs just that some places, and in some communities, its more prevalent, more fashionable, more acceptable. I went to school in Baltimore where the white girls got the Weave in.  But then I'm from Rhode Island where it's all light skinned girls with long hair. It is what it is. 

     Sometimes, I want my eyelashes long. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want my hair long. Sometimes I don't.  but NO times do I want a man who is too critical of me to allow me to do what makes me  feel beautiful. If I said wearing green makes me feel more beautiful, would you object? If a woman feels better doing A over B, then let her do that (as long as it looks good). 

     That's my only opinion about weave: Do it right. I'm not very good at it, so I don't do it often (anymore)... but I know some beautiful women who WORK THAT SHIT.  Ahem... Beyonce? Ahemm.. Taylor Swift? Ahem all female celebrities? White girls, black girls, spanish girls, asian girls. THEY ALL DO IT. With some girls, the hair just happens to match theirs better & they can use one or two tracks vs a head full. Please, don't be so naive. 

     And really, it's none of your business what I do with my hair or what another women does with hers. Unless you are willing to invest time and money into that person so they can be what you think they should be, keep your comments to yourself. If a man doesn't like a girl who puts weave in her hair, then he doesn't like me. And I don't like men who don't like me. So why do I care what he thinks?

     Now, I understand how a man might feel and his desire to run his fingers through my hair, which is why I only put hair in sometimes. A man also just wants to know that your hair actually grows. It makes men nervous to date a bald girl. What will their friends say? Men are more worried about weave than we are.  & for the argument that it smells? Yes, cheap weave does, I agree. & if you put too much product in it, yes again. & if you leave it in too long, double yes.  I had a friend who would DROP $$$ on a pack of hair. I never would. For that reason, I bought more hair than she did. I couldn't leave mine in as long. 

So if you do it, spend your pretty penny & work that shit, mama. 

If you don't. Good for you, but mind your own business. 

Men: If you don't like a girl who wears weave, then don't date one. It's that simple. 


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What do you do if a guy asks you if your hair is real or not? Im usually embarrassed to say I have a weave. I feel like black guys look down on girls with weaves.


Do you think you could write a post about being friends with your ex?

Ella said...

First off, you being embarrassed is the real problem. If you can defend yourself & be proud of your decision how can he respect it? -- think about it, hun. If you don't love you for you (weave or not), you can't expect someone else to love you for you.


Answer how it makes you more comfortable. Here are some options:

A) Be honest. Say no, "I like my hair a little longer so I put some in." You can ask him if he has a problem with it. If he does, its your choice if you want to deal with that. You can have a serious conversation from here if you'd like. If doesn't have and issue, the air is clear & you can relax :)

2) Sarcasm: Say "yup" and end the conversation. You can add in "I have the receipt" or "Picked it out myself" or even "But I'm thinking about growing it out curly Tuesday, then short Wednesday, then long again Friday." --that's a lot but.. it's pretty witty. He'll have fun with that & so will you.

and Third) Avoid answering. Ask him "Does it matter". He'll say no. & you'll say "then why do you ask" he'll say "I just want to know". You'll say, "it doesnt matter" --- This can go on forever till you change the subject.

(This option is actually the coolest b/c its good for women WITHOUT weave who get asked. It gives you a chance to stand up for women who DO wear weave and challenge men to accept it. That's an idealist thought but.. hey, I try. )

PS: I love counting like that lmfao


oh & you're post is coming shortly. Excellent topic BTW.

Ella said...

Posted the blog... It's called "Friends" Call Them What You Want.


http://ellathought.blogspot.com/2010/10/friends-call-them-what-you-want.html